Prowl's Tips for Driving in the Snow
by jaxink
Summary: Sideswipe and Sunstreaker find it's not so easy driving in a snowstorm. -oneshot, written for tf-speedwriting's Advent Calendar on LJ-


_Disclaimer: Don't own it._

* * *

_A/N: Written for Day 16 of tf_speedwriting's Advent Calendar 2013 on livejournal._

_ While this story is meant to be amusing, please, please, please __drive carefully_ during snowy and icy conditions. Inclement weather creates dangerous driving conditions. Take precautions. Driving tips come from AAA (American Automobile Association).

* * *

Prompt: traveling in rough weather  
Verse: G1-ish  
Rating: PG/K+  
Warnings: A few TF swears; Be careful driving in wintery conditions!

* * *

**Prowl's Tips for Driving in the Snow**

"Good morning, everyone," Prowl says, walking back and forth with his hands clasped behind his doorwings.

A large gathering of mechs in their alt-modes gathers closer around him outside the Ark. Warm, running engines release steady clouds of exhaust into the air. The gently falling snow melts on contact with armor.

To his left, Optimus and Ratchet stand observing the proceedings. Prowl continues his introduction. "As this is our first winter on Earth, Prime has requested I run through the basics of driving safely in the snow. I have consulted with several human law enforcement officers and driving experts on the matter. These wintery driving conditions are unlike anything we have had experience with before. So please, pay attention. I'll strive to be brief."

Jazz flashes his headlights in an attempt to draw the SIC's attention.

The tactician resists the urge to sigh. "Yes, Jazz?"

"Are we gonna practice drivin' in the snow? Or will this be strictly lecture-based only?" Jazz's voice emits from his alt.

"This isn't a lecture, Jazz. We're merely trying to observe necessary precautions. But yes, we will be practicing, hence Ratchet is on stand-by for any injuries," Prowl patiently explains. "Now then, any other questions?"

Bluestreak timidly flashes his lights. His mentor nods in acknowledgement. "Um, Prowl sir, isn't everyone supposed to be here?"

"No, not necessarily. Prime has made this training session voluntary," Prowl admits. "However, we strongly recommend you all remain for instruction. If you're referring to the absence of Sideswipe and Sunstreaker, they already made it quite clear they would be 'opting out' of training."

"If there are no more questions, let's begin," Prowl declares, and folds down into his police car alt-mode.

Optimus and Ratchet follow suit. Prowl slowly leads the procession of Autobots down the road from the Ark to a large clearing to begin their practice. During the short drive, Smokescreen pings Bluestreak and Jazz.

"Guys, are we really going to stay?" Smokescreen questions via comm-line.

"If Prowl says it's important, we probably should," Bluestreak reasons.

Jazz hums in agreement. "It won't be that bad, Smokey. An' Prime does think it best."

Smokescreen slightly grumbles but agrees as well. "Still, it'd be nice to catch some more recharge like the Twins."

"Ah think the Twins might end up regrettin' that…" Jazz says with a mysterious chuckle.

* * *

_Two days later…_

A blustery snowstorm brewing outside prevents the Autobots from safely continuing routine patrols. As such, several 'bots have more free time and take advantage of relaxing inside the rec room. Energon and conversation freely flows as laughter rings out. Ironhide enters the room and searches the room for someone.

Jazz calls him over to a table with Bumblebee, Mirage, Smokescreen, and Bluestreak. "Ya lookin' fer someone, 'Hide?"

Ironhide huffs. "Yeah, those lazy Twins. They were supposed to report for monitor duty one joor ago. Red Alert insists they're not in the Ark."

"Only a fool would go out in this weather," Mirage says with a dignified snort.

"Actually…" Bumblebee begins.

"Got somethin' ta share with the group, 'Bee?" Jazz prods.

The mini-bot shrugs. "I saw them leave earlier this morning. I think Sideswipe mentioned something about a race. Sunstreaker just wanted to get out. The roads were still clear then."

"Not anymore~," Smokescreen singsongs.

"Primus, I'm gonna throttle those glitches when they get back. Thanks, Bumblebee," Ironhide growls. He turns on his pedes and leaves the rec room.

"If they make it back," Bluestreak murmurs worriedly.

Jazz pats him consolingly on the back. "I'm sure they're fine, Blue." His visor conceals his own real concern.

A furious swirl of snowflakes pours from the grey skies as the wind howls and screams. Whiteout conditions are everywhere, and the snow shows no signs of slowing down. Just outside the edge of town, Sideswipe and Sunstreaker debate what to do.

* * *

_Prowl's Tips for Driving in the Snow_

**1. Having all-wheel, or 4-wheel drive, does not make you invincible. If you have rear-wheel drive, add weight over the back of the car — such as placing sand bags in the trunk or back seat.**

* * *

"I told you we should wait to go out," Sunstreaker says with a grunt, arms crossed.

Sideswipe scowls. "No, you were just as enthusiastic about leaving! Besides, it doesn't look that bad. We can make it."

"You do? I don't think our alt-mode have four-wheel drive. Just rear-wheel."

"Yeah, why not? In our alt modes, we can handle anything!" Sideswipe declares. "Besides, we're alien robots. That's like the same thing as having all-wheel drive."

Sunstreaker sighs and transforms. "Fine. Let's get this over with."

His brother mirrors his actions. One bright red and one striking yellow, the twin Lamborghinis set off into the stormy white.

* * *

**2. Drive slowly. Everything takes longer on snow-covered roads. Accelerating, stopping, turning — nothing happens as quickly as on dry pavement.**

* * *

"Maybe we should slow down, Sunny," Sideswipe says over their comm-line.

"Why? We're gliding right over this stuff," Sunstreaker points out and accelerates. "If anything we should go faster, that way our treads will barely touch this wet, white fluffy slag."

Sideswipe hesitates. "I don't know…_whoa_!"

* * *

**3. Accelerate and decelerate slowly. Applying the gas slowly to accelerate is the best method for regaining traction. Don't try to get moving in a hurry. Remember: It takes longer to slow down on icy roads.**

* * *

The red Lamborghini hits a patch of black ice on the road and begins to fishtail. Sideswipe slams on his brakes, causing him to viciously spin out.

"Sunny, watch out!" Sideswipe shouts.

"Ahhhh!"

_SCREEEEEECHFffffffKKiisshHH_ — **BOOM**.

Dazedly, Sunstreaker blearily registers several aches and pangs that were not there before. The front end of his alt-mode is buried in a bank of snow. His side throbs. Sideswipe's front end presses against his side, slightly embedded. The windshield shows a spider web of cracks.

Sunstreaker attempts to nudge his brother. "Sides, are you okay?"

"…"

"Sideswipe?"

" 'M, fine. Ugh," Sideswipe groans. "I feel like I got hit by a plow. …Or a Decepticon."

"You feel like you got hit by a plow? You're the one that sideswiped me, Sideswipe!" Sunstreaker yells, irate.

The potential irony is not lost on Sideswipe. "Actually, I just hit you, Sunny. The term, 'to sideswipe' is merely a glancing blow alongside a vehicle."

"Did I ask for a definition?! No. Let's just call for help and get out of here."

With a horrified honk, Sideswipe struggles to back up from his current position. "What? No! We can't call the Ark for help. If anyone finds out we crashed in the snow, we'll never hear the end of it."

Grunting, Sunstreaker wiggles himself free as well. "I guess you have a point. But won't Prowl and Ratchet know anyway? Look at these dents — my beautiful paint! And those cracks in your windshield — hideous."

Pausing, Sideswipe thinks for a moment. "Aha! We'll just tell them we ran into Decepticons."

Sunstreaker sighs. "Fine. I doubt they'll buy it, but it's better than the humiliation of being towed back into the Ark."

"Great, let's do this!" Sideswipe revs his tired engine and sets off with Sunstreaker close on his bumper.

* * *

**4. The normal dry pavement following distance of 3 to 4 seconds should be increased 8 to 10 seconds. This increased margin of safety will provide the longer distance needed if you have to stop.**

* * *

The snow, already falling at a rapid rate, unleashes flurries at an alarming, blinding rate. Continuing at a steady, probably too quick pace, the Twins make steady progress toward the Ark. A dark blob appears and disappears in Sideswipe's vision. His wiper blades are struggling to keep up with the snow blanketing his alt-form.

"What is that?" Sideswipe murmurs to himself. "Probably nothing. Just the snow playing tricks on my eyes."

"You say something, Sides?"

"Hm, no. Just don't follow me so closely. You're breathing down my tailpipe."

Sideswipe presses on, but the dark blob continues to grow larger as it flickers in his line of sight. About 15 yards away now, Sideswipe realizes it's a family of bunnies trekking across the icy road!

* * *

**5. Know your brakes. Whether you have antilock brakes or not, the best way to stop is threshold braking. Apply firm, steady pressure on the brake pedal.**

* * *

Alarm fills his senses, and Sideswipe slams on the brakes once again. His tires threaten to slip and slide again, but he manages to stop in time. Sagging with relief, the red Lamborghini sees the bunnies scamper off into the brush. Until he hears a terrible screech of tires on ice behind him. Slag.

* * *

**6. Don't stop if you can avoid it. There's a big difference in the amount of inertia it takes to start moving from a full stop versus how much it takes to get moving while still rolling. If you can slow down enough to keep rolling until a traffic light changes, do it.**

* * *

Sunstreaker sees his brother's taillights too late and belatedly applies the brakes. Bracing himself for impact, his front end slams into Sideswipe's back end. It jars both mechs from chassis to struts.

A small crumple appears in Sunstreaker's hood. "Why the frag did you stop?" he angrily questions.

Sideswipe grimaces, his entire form tender with dents. "There was a family of bunnies."

"Bunnies? A family of — never mind. Can you still drive?" Sunstreaker says.

"Yeah, I think so."

Sunstreaker slowly backs up, wincing, then pull around his brother to the front. "Fine. I'm leading now. Let's go."

* * *

**7. Don't power up hills. Applying extra gas on snow-covered just starts your wheels spinning. As you reach the crest of the hill, reduce your speed and proceed down hill as slowly as possible.**

* * *

"We're almost there!" Sunstreaker declares triumphantly. "The Ark should just be over this hill."

"That's great. Now move your bumper so we can get there," Sideswipe mumbles.

Sunstreaker ignores his remark and attempts to accelerate to carry himself over the frosty hill. His tires squeal in protest and begin to lose traction as they spin. Panicking, he tries to brake and slow his ascent.

* * *

**8. Don't stop going up a hill. There's nothing worse than trying to get moving up a hill on an icy road. Get some inertia going on a flat roadway before you take on the hill.**

* * *

"Sunny, no! Don't brake. Keep going. You'll slide back and into me again!" Sideswipe cautions.

Sunstreaker urges his tires to dig into the ice. "I'm trying! But I lost traction trying to slow down."

"Hold on," Sideswipe says. Slowly edging up the hill, he gently nudges Sunstreaker's bumper, pushing him forward. The yellow 'bot is able to gain traction once more and makes it the last few feet to the top of the hill.

"That was close," Sunstreaker mutters. "Okay, let's head down nice and easy, Sides. We wouldn't want to —!"

Sideswipe surges forward at the top of the hill in triumphant glee. "We made it! Oh no…"

With his exuberant arrival, Sideswipe accidentally slams into Sunstreaker idling at the top of the hill. The impact sends Sunstreaker sliding down the hill out of control. Disoriented, Sideswipe slips forward after him, plummeting downward.

"AHHHHHHH!"

"AHHHHHHH!"

Sunstreaker spins and spins and spins slipping and sliding down the icy road and careens into a tall tree not far from the entrance of the Ark. His side door crumples upon impact and he groans in distress. Taking note of his injuries, he grouses it could have been much worse.

Until Sideswipe's headlights blind him as his brother's front end heads straight for his other side. And everything goes black.

Soft murmurs and talking draw Sideswipe and Sunstreaker from their self-induces unconscious states. They both moan and feel sharp pains throb throughout their frames.

"What happened?" Sideswipe groans.

"You slaggers wrapped yourselves around a tree," Ratchet rumbles, beyond irritated. "Hoist and Trailbreaker are working on untangling your sorry afts. Then Wheeljack and I get to piece you back together."

Sunstreaker couldn't even protest the rough treatment as tools wedge between his gnarled alt-form and Sideswipe's to pry them apart.

Closer to the entrance, Prowl and Optimus look on with worried amusement.

"Ratchet assures me they will be fine, sir," Prowl informs.

Shifting on his pedes, Prime nods. "Indeed. Perhaps they'll think twice before skipping another driving safety session."

They hear Sideswipe cry out, "I'm never leaving the Ark again!"

* * *

**9. Stay home. If you really don't have to go out, don't. Even if you can drive well in the snow, not everyone else can. Don't tempt fate — if you don't have somewhere you have to be, watch the snow from indoors.**

and...

**10. Always listen to Prowl.**


End file.
